I don’t generally go into politics much, but I’ve been amused by what will probably be remembered as Catgate. This started as part of the ConDems assault on the Human Rights Act, which basically incorporates the European Convention on Human Rights into UK law. Depending on your point of view, this is either a Good Thing in that it enables UK Courts to rule on matters that previously required a lengthy and expensive visit to the European Court to settle, or a Bad Thing in that it allows UK Courts to rule on matters, etc, etc.
At the recent
gathering of the powers of darkness Conservative Party Conference, Home Secretary Theresa May got up and told a big fat porkie, alleging that a court had ruled that someone who might otherwise have been deported was allowed to stay in the UK because he had a cat. Naturally, she preceded her statement with words to the effect that she wasn’t making it up, which is technically true in that someone else had made it up and she was repeating it. But it was indeed a load of old tosh, so false that the Daily Mail insisted it was true.
An early stage in the entertainment was old Tory Ken Clarke, currently Justice Secretary, pointing out that Ms May was talking complete bollocks. Now in a properly run organisation, Ms May would have been obliged to apologise for talking complete bollocks and quite possibly relieved of her senior position. But no. That’s not how politics works. Instead, Ken Clarke got into trouble for pointing out something that used to be known as “the truth”, and according to some reports may be “retiring”.
All of this would be entertaining enough, but it gets better. It seems that Ms May’s catspeech might possibly bear some resemblance to a comment by the leader of an odd little organisation called the UK Independence Party. So it seems that the Home Secretary is not only talking complete bollocks, but can’t even be bothered to make up her own bollocks. Again, you might think that Ms May might be embarrassed about this, or indeed that the Prime Minister might find her behaviour a bit too embarrassing. But no, that’s still not how it works.
The latest development is that it seems that Chris Huhne, from the Dem part of the ConDems and apparently something called the Energy Secretary may possibly have ever so slightly accidentally leaked the suggestion that Ms May was borrowing her bollocks from the UKIP. Now personally, I’m inclined to think that if one of the most senior members of the government talks complete bollocks in public and can’t even be bothered to make up her own lies, then anyone who exposes her should be congratulated. But no, that’s not how it works. Having accidentally tweeted something which sort of hinted that he didn’t want his name associated with something, it soon came out that he was the source of the report in the Guardian which revealed that the Home Secretary had borrowed her story from UKIP.
So, quite naturally, Mr Huhne has been obliged to apologise to Ms May for pointing out that she not only tells porkies, but can’t be bothered to make up her own porkies.
To borrow Ms May’s words (she shouldn’t object to that, after all), I’m not making this up. I just wish I was…
 To be fair, the Dem part of that disagree, but guilt by association, lie down with dogs, get up with fleas, etc…
 That’s the really polite version of that description