My brother sent me these, and I thought they were so bad, that I had to share them.
- A bicycle can’t stand alone; it is two tired.
- A will is a dead giveaway
- Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
- A backward poet writes inverse.
- In a democracy it’s your vote that counts; in feudalism, it’s your Count that votes.
- A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.
- If you don’t pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.
- Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I’ll show you A-flat miner.
- When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
- The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.
 Hi bruv 
 Name concealed to protect the guilty