Just what the world needs…

According to BBC News, umbrellas are about to become infested enhanced with technology. Leaving aside the helpful umbrellas that connect to local weather reports and flash if it’s raining[1], I’m much more alarmed by the development of umbrellas that project web pages for their users to read while they’re walking in the rain. What a stunningly brilliant idea! I have to say that I’m really impressed by vastly superior minds that can solve a problem that I didn’t know existed:

People with umbrellas are in danger of actually looking where they are going

Now my observation of umbrella users, especially the ones who seem to think that those ludicrous things apparently intended for golf courses[3], is that they tend to be more aware of their umbrellas, or their phones in some cases, than they are of trivial matters like people walking in the opposite direction, who find themsleves having to dive all over the place to avoid nasty umbrella/eye interactions. But is seems I’ve been missing the Big Picture. What’s needed is umbrella-based web browsing. Yes, people need too keep up with MyFriendsFaceSpaceBookReunited[5] while walking in the rain. No doubt people will start carrying umbrellas regardless of the weather. I can see it now:

The Return of the Parasol

I think we should all be worried….

[1] OK, so all I have to do is remember to carry my umbrella[2] everywhere, and look at it before I leave any building, so I’ll know if it’s allegedly going to rain…
[2] Which I don’t have, by the way
[3] Presumably in an attempt to increase the numbers of golfers struck by lightning[4]
[4] Almost enough to make you believe in Zeus or Thor…
[5] Or whatever the currently essential “social networking” site happens to be at the time