Robin Hood – Total Eclipse

It’s been a while since we last saw Robin and his gang. But now they’re back for another 13 episodes of bows, arrows, swords and outrageous anachronisms. And a good thing, too.

At the end of the last series, things went a bit wrong for everyone. The Sheriff failed in his mission to kill King Richard. Guy killed Marian. Will and Djaq (the least useless members of Robin’s gang) decided to stay in the Holy Land. Oh, and Guy killed Marian. That bit might be important for future plot developments.

Last night’s opening episode involved a rather more upset than usual Robin deciding that his friends were just holding him back, and that he didn’t want to play with them any more. Being in dark and moody mode, he gets a wee bit dramatic and suggests that all he has left is vengeance, and that Gisbourne will die today. Now obviously, that’s not going to happen – Guy’s signed up for the whole series…

Well, Robin turns up at his old home, gets Guy’s attention and the usual fight follows. Guy looks rather more dishevelled than normal, with a little touch of the staring eyes. As expected, he blames Robin for Marian’s death, and wants to kill Robin at least as much as Robin wants to kill him. And just in case we’d forgotten that Guy is the, err, Bad Guy, he grabs a small child and runs off with her to a nearby cliff, which I don’t recall being there last time, but never mind. He threatens to throw the child to her death if Robin doesn’t surrender, so Robin naturally lays down his weapons and joins Guy at the clifftop. Guy manages to overpower Robin and throw him off. It’s a long way down to the river, so he naturally assumes Robin is dead[1]. Much is a bit upset by this, and attacks Guy in a rather feeble manner, leading to him being captured and taken to the castle. John and Alan slip off into the forest…

While Guy shows more signs that he’s left his marbles behind in the Holy Land, and the Sheriff is threatened by Prince John’s lackey (more taxes or else, that sort of thing), Robin is found by a monk who eventually introduces himself as Brother Tuck. Not the fat friar of many Robin Hood versions, but more of a very intelligent action hero black guy in a grey outfit. He’s quick, clever and looks like he’ll be a lot of fun. Robin’s been badly hurt, and is ready to give up on the whole being a hero thing, but Tuck’s not having any of that. He believes that the country needs its hero to give people hope and encourage them to resist the oppressive regime, so he manipulates the situation a wee bit. He tells Guy where he’ll be able to capture Robin’s gang, and tells them that Robin wants to meet them.

The gang is captured, and Robin and Tuck head to the rescue.

At the castle, the Sheriff does one of his bonkers speeches about how it’s

A great day for Nottingham, its people and HOMELAND SECURITY :rofl:

and babbles a bit about terrorists, and so on. He then orders the execution of the gang. Not the usual hanging or beheading, of course, but a dramatic process involving a siege crossbow thingy. Tuck interrupts and does the really old routine about how this is a bit naughty, God is unhappy and it’s going to get dark. Yes, that’s where the episode title came from. I suspect most viewers shared my groans of “not that old gag!” the moment we say Tuck looking at his book of phases of the moon, which didn’t seem to be at the right phase at all the day before the planned execution, but maybe I’m just being picky…

Anyway, while everyone’s distracted by Tuck and the eclipse, Robin gets the gang away, and they all run off to fight again. Robin decides not to kill Guy, as it’s more entertaining to see him suffer his mental torment…

Yes, it’s still totally daft. It makes remarkably little sense. It is, in fact, complete twaddle. But it’s fun.

[1] What a silly Guy….

5 thoughts on “Robin Hood – Total Eclipse

  1. LadyUranus

    This show makes “Heroes” look sensible, yet I can’t help but love it. I have an unfortunate feeling that Marian will rise from the dead… again. Or worse, they’ll give Robin another love interest.

    But despite my complaining, and swearing after s2 never to watch it again, here I am in front of the TV again…

  2. Les Post author

    Yup. It’s complete rubbish, but as Sam[2] once said, it’s good rubbish.

    Judging by the trailer and odd bits I’ve read, a new female character is coming. Whether she’ll be love interest or something else, I don’t know.

    More entertainingly, we’ll be seeing Prince John this time round, which should be fun.

    [2] Hi Sam :wave:

  3. Matt

    I forced myself to watch. I could just about swallow the tokenistic black guy as Tuck (usually there’s some reference to Moors and the Holy Land to justify a black actor) but in reality it’s just a reprise of Morgan Freeman’s role in the equally rubbish Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves, and the chainmail armour of the guards looked a bit less like wool than last time. It all went horribly wrong though when that blonde Essex girl turned up (Kate). At one point she grabbed someone to reveal perfectly manicured nails, probably done the day before in a salon in Romford along with her feather cut and highlights. Probably the worst aspect of Robin Hood (apart from all the anachronistic rubbish)is the downplaying of the role of Little John. Just as in ‘Prince of Thieves’ sidelined by Morgan Freeman, he is now playing second fiddle to both Much and Tuck (third fiddle). It’s a shame to see a character who was essentially Robin’s best friend and lieutenant nothing more than one of the band. Don’t think i’ll bother watching again.

  4. j

    i totally agree with th twaddle part. the fighting is so farfethcehed and the acting is wooden almost all the time. that new female characters accent is totallty different to everyone elses on the show even her own mothers. friar tuck is political correctness again and the writers have made it so its supposed to just be like that and no one is going to notice. no explanation as to why at all. i just wish they would stick to the proper storyline a bit more aswell. since when does marian die before robin?. this farfetched rubbish isnt robin hood at all more a similar story with characters with the same names.they dont seem to even rob the rich any more but still always have plenty for the poor. also little john doesnt even do much. in the original story he is Robins best friend and yet on the show he is just some guy who is in the background most of the time. kids these days re going to think that this is the robin hood stotry and to be honest most of them are going to be wondering what the big deal is about him. this rubbish show is killing a legend and i dont know how it ever got a second series let alone a third. they had 8million to spend on the first series so where the hell did the money go. i had only ever heard or seen the guy who plays the sheriff before so surely the rubbish actors didnt get most of that money in wages.

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