Unconditional!

I noticed this advert in my brother’s motoring magazine. Not my usual reading matter, but the occasional glance is mildly interesting. It’s an advert for winter tyres, with an interesting offer:

Sounds good

Sounds good

Camera: iPhone 5s
Aperture: ƒ/2.2
Shutter speed: 1/30s
Focal length: 4.12mm
ISO: 250
Taken: 6 November, 2013
Location: 51° 31.1495′ 0″ N 3° 30.3413′ 0″ W

Leaving aside the slightly bizarre sentence structure – the “for” and the second “of” look like relics of a translation that wasn’t checked by someone who actually speaks English – a two-year warranty on tyres seems like a good thing. Ah, but what’s this?

Oh, hold on...

Oh, hold on…

Camera: iPhone 5s
Aperture: ƒ/2.2
Shutter speed: 1/35s
Focal length: 4.12mm
ISO: 250
Taken: 6 November, 2013
Location: 51° 31.149′ 0″ N 3° 30.34′ 0″ W

Hmmm, not so much as an unconditional warranty as an unconditional warranty*. I always imagine the asterisk being pronounced as Ping, somehow. But what does that asterisk lead to? Some detailed footnote about how the warranty works? Well, sort of:

Say what?

Say what?

Camera: iPhone 5s
Aperture: ƒ/2.2
Shutter speed: 1/35s
Focal length: 4.12mm
ISO: 400
Taken: 6 November, 2013
Location: 51° 31.1462′ 0″ N 3° 30.3418′ 0″ W

So, let me make sure I’ve got this quite clear. It’s an unconditional warranty to which conditions apply. Now unless this is some weird driving thing that I’m too much of a pedestrian to understand, surely the word they’re looking for is “conditional”?